magick and mysticism

January 15, 2022

Thank you for your cruelty.
It has been my levity in all of this.
Had you given gentleness, reverence, kept your promises with the integrity of a hero,

You would echo in my emptiness much more loudly,
louder than the raindrops on the pond.

Everything within me is dripping obscurely.

How you must ache.

To know I am evil and walk.

Your girl changes to be whatever you want and hates me because the one thing she cannot be is free.
Confuses love with order and hates her own magnetism to chaos.

I don’t know if it is cruel of me to ask for love.
You have humiliated me, like the rest of them.

The loss of you hurts. I am better without you but for now my loneliness wears your shape.

If you are not interdimensional, supernatural, psychic,
if the entities inside you do not possess and thrash my soft body
until I am sated,
drifting …

Your voice expresses nothing; your gaze evokes nothing. Human love is the greatest disappointment.

If you did this* I would not wilt

I would have kept you
Your mouth closer
Your genitals wetter

The sound of fog in the thrush

I don’t want to find out the giants are my size.

The sound

the sound, the sound

I must become what I am hunting.

If I could thrash and tear
at my biggest capacity
and exhaust my violence …

If I could gape before you,
hairy, spotted, feral

/